It's the age old school yard scene.  Kids out at recess, getting ready to play a game.  Kickball, soccer, basketball, football...or any other sport.  2 kids get picked (or nominate themselves) to be the captains of the teams.  Everyone else lines up waiting to be picked to be on a team.  Hoping.  Praying.  

The captains call out names for the soccer teams....5 on 5.....

{the waiting crowd is getting smaller in size and bigger in hopes...with a touch of nervousness}

{down to 2 boys.  they look at each other both hoping their name is called next so they don't have to be the last one}


{one left standing.  alone. holding in the sadness.  biting the lower lip that is trying so hard to quiver.  walking slowly over to the team with shoulders slumped. ashamed.}



Sound familiar?  It does to me (except the names were way more feminine!).  And this is, unfortunately, very familiar to my youngest child right now.  He would prefer to walk around at recess by himself or hang with the giggly girls than go through this one more time.  For the longest time we just thought he was a "lady's man" and flirt!  Nope.  We were wrong.  He chooses the girls because they choose him.  When he tries the team thing he gets picked last.  Every time.  Big crocodile tears fall on his freckled cheeks when he tells me about it.  My heart breaks. 


I wish that I could.....some him to understand that it isn't the worst thing in the world to be chosen last.  
I wish that I could.....some way.....prove to him that he will be picked first for something one of these days.
I wish that I could.....some him to know that some of the most successful, happy, good & content people were picked last in the schoolyard.
I wish that I could.....some way.....get him to actually be ok with being picked last.


I want my child (and every child) to know that whether he is picked first or last he is IN THE GAME!  I want him to know that when he does get picked first...some day (for a play or a music solo or for a math competition)... that he should be as proud as when he got picked last.  I want him to be humble when he hears his name first.  I want him to stand proud when it is called last.  I want him to pump his fists in the air WHENEVER his name is called! 

I want him to know that I would choose him first....anytime.
I want him to know that God chose him first....already and always.

But until then he is just a boy who heart is sad.  Because he wants to belong. Because he wants to be wanted.  Because he wants to feel loved.


Not to far off from how all of us feel......right? 


May you celebrate, with a big old fist pump, no matter when you get chosen.
May you be glad that we all were created to be really good as something...not everything.
May you feel like you belong, are wanted and loved. 





October 23, 2013 — Sarah Stevens



Dawn said:

Oh man. This brought back all of those feelings of inadequacy and multiplied them by a million because instead of me standing there alone I saw my son. My sweet delightful son. We haven’t crossed the hurdle yet (he is still young) but my heart aches and bleeds for you and your boy.


Kimberly said:

Sarah, I was a bowl of mush reading this post, I think you are a fantastic writer, but this one not only hit home as a mother but also as a child growing up. Thank you , thank you for sharing your life, your love, your joy and your life with us. ❤

Darlene Kohn

Darlene Kohn said:

Been there….it’s a terrible feeling. With you as a Mom, your son is going to realize he is always first in your heart! Thanks for sharing!

Jo Howard

Jo Howard said:

what beautiful words! Your way of turning a negative to a positive is wonderful. Your son is blessed to have you as a mom.


Nikki said:

My older son went through the same thing as did my younger. My boys are compassionate and respectful to others. In every bad situation, there is a blessing. And my boys possessing that trait is a blessing. Hugs to all especially your little warrior. Great things will come of this!

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